Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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