Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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