Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize