is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
