if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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