if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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