Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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