is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
