I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
