people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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