We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
