He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
