I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
