question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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