after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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