scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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