I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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