It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
