Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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