Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So vagazzling was a success
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
