I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize