I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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