I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
