The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
