Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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