Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
