is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
