Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
