Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
