He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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