There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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