I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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