wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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