I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize