I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
