i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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