ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize