You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
