It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
