Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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