Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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