Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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