D3 body, D1 cock
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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