Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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