Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
