woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
