so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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