i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Damn victory sex feels great
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
