Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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