Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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