By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
