If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
