YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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