i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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