Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
