So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
