3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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