So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
A bitchslap is in order.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
