some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
