they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
