There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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