"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize